At what point do fear and loneliness intersect? I don’t mean fear of loneliness, I mean at what point do the distinct feelings overlap, empower one another synergistically, and at what point do the colors of each become new and more vibrant than before? Is it a place that inspires that? Where even the corny motifs of blood streaks and splatters become something less flatly semiotic? Some new symbol?
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drum roll please…introducing: TRENCH. I’m combining my love of zines and my desperate need to keep you all updated into a monthly newsletter! I think overall it’ll be a lot easier for me to just to send a blast once a month than it would be to try and keep up with the ridiculous nonsense I’ve tried to program out in the past. Little intro paragraph below:
What is TRENCH? Not just an average newsletter, it’s MY Newsletter! I wanted to give it a cool name :3! Anyway. Once a month I’ll bundle everything new, blog posts you may have missed, new merch, graphics, and polls from Patreon. I’m also in all likelihood going to move stuff like HFTS to here as well. Little tidbits at the end of the newsletter. Enough Talk! Enjoy :) (SIGN UP BELOW)
Hey guys. Well, a LOT has happened the last few months. I’ve been a bit unresponsive, but updating socials as I could. There’s lots of new art, a lot of which I have not posted yet, so look forward to that! (One below that I HAVE posted, but just to get your appetite going.
I have a few new projects in the works that I will hopefully be getting up and running this week. That’s an update that will go on socials as well as Patreon when it happens.
Anyway this was just a quick update. Love you guys.
**Posted from my Patreon. If you want access to stuff first, try subscribing!
I do this every so often. I write out an apology for my patrons and my friends and my family. I try to explain why I haven’t posted or updated. I try to talk my way out of it. I know that you see me online playing games or posting memes, and in my head I speculate that you think I’m doing well, just distracted or lazy or maybe incompetent.
But I’m having a tough time to be completely candid. I’m very depressed. And I can’t really afford therapy. I’m on a lot of drugs but you know, that’s only half the battle.
I say that every time. And then a week later I post some ridiculous schedule I claim I’m going to stick to this time.
And I fail. And that feels bad too. I’ve let people down with my inattention to my responsibilities, and I’m sorry.
I’ve tried calendars and I’ve tried notebooks, I’ve tried timers and schedules, I’ve tried medication for ADHD, but there’s a shortage and Medi-Cal doesn’t cover it so it’s nearly impossible to get, and prohibitively expensive. I keep throwing myself at the problem.
I’m not posting this because I’ve had a big revelation. I haven’t. I just feel extremely low right now. And I feel like I owe people an explanation.
I know some of you will say “you don’t have to apologize, just get healthy, we’ll be here waiting” or something to that effect, and I appreciate that but I absolutely do have to apologize and to explain. If not for your benefit then for my own.
The best I can say is this is what happens. I post steadily for a month, maybe. And then I fall into some unfathomable depth of executive dysfunction and a relentlessly unmotivated stupor or maybe torpor. My apartment is a wreck. I’m not paying bills. I’m working a ton but not enough. I can barely make myself eat on time, and when I do I overeat. I doubt I’m very fun to be around. I have bursts of social energy that dissipate making me feel lonely and useless. I know people love me, but it’s well documented that with depression it doesn’t always feel like it.
Ultimately I’m sick. And I’m doing my best to try and heal but it is damn hard and the tireless waves of capitalism buffet my sides until I’m battered, and beyond.
None of this is to talk about the OCD, which is severe and genuinely debilitating.
I just wanted to give you guys an idea of what I’m going through. I don’t ‘not’ make art or keep up with projects because I don’t care, or I’m lazy, or I don’t appreciate the support that I receive. I want to be better. I’ve always wanted to be better.
And I’m not going to promise anything right now because I have no solutions. I will only say that I’m going to keep trying.
Making art is the only thing I’ve known. ‘Artist’ is the only identity I’ve ever felt described me completely, and giving that up is tantamount to death.
Similarly, for the benefit of no one but myself I will say this: I haven’t always been good. But I’m trying, and I have been for a long time, to be better. Everyday, better than the last. Every moment I see as a chance to improve. And of course recovery isn’t linear, there’s ups and downs, peaks and valleys. But I’ll keep hiking.
Lastly, thank you. If you’ve even liked my work from a distance, let alone paid money for it, or spoken about it, I deeply appreciate you. I really do. I hope that this hasn’t turned you off of my work, but I understand if it has. I love you all.
Hey guys. Below is the introduction to my Hidden from the Sun worldbuilding project. I’m super happy to finally be updating the blog with this info, and hope to make a large post every month. Make sure to check the Release Schedule on the side for a list of upcoming posts.
This Post will cover the introduction section of the original document that I outlined. Things are subject to change of course, this is an ongoing project. I hope you enjoy and be sure to come and ask questions in the discord if you have any.
Hello and welcome to Hidden From the Sun! This is a dark fantasy world building project by William Freeman (me). The goal is to periodically update my following with notes, illustrations, stories, and lore from the world of Emon. This document is a primer to the world and its principles. If you want more content and updates, follow me on social media, and consider subscribing to my Patreon. Enjoy the world!
“For anyone, even the oldest and most learned, this is the way it has always been. Countless civilizations crumbled in the darkness. All history lost after millennia hidden from the sun”
—Eckberth Bolintiac, 2540 HD
This is a quote from the historian Eckberth Bolintiac of Rävenston in the opening passages of his seminal text “A Unified History of Emon”. This particular selection is referring to the loss of history from the peoples of Emon. Much is confused and shrouded in the Underlands, and even races whose populations are strong to this day cannot speak of their cultures' roots with any certainty.
The world of Emon is extremely ancient. Trillions of years of intelligent civilization have passed, and countless races have risen to the heights of magical and technological potential and all have fallen to some extent, though some have been forgotten entirely.
The Underlands of Emon are a seemingly infinite underground world, where the vast majority of intelligent creatures make their home. This is due to the proximity of the Natfyr, also known as the Plane, or the Crux. It is a bubbling cauldron of energy at the core of the world that has supplied the power both magical and technological to all of the races of Emon.
All races on Emon have a consistent arc. A rise to intelligence, discovery and usage of the Natfyr, and then an eventual cataclysm, which results in the best cases a crumbled and fractured society, or in the worst annihilation. But across all of them the technology or magic they had reached at their zenith has always been wiped out, and their history forgotten. Many of these civilizations still exist as mere whispers of their former selves. More often than not they assimilate into other civilizations. At the current time in the world humans are the current dominant race, though that isn’t to say superior. They have the largest and most technologically, and magically, advanced civilization. This isn’t a comment on how powerful humanity is as a race or on how “good” they are in terms of quality.
The existence of gods or of greater spiritual powers is not verified fact. There are some godlike beings known as conduits. They have given their minds, bodies, and souls to the Natfyr, putting themselves into what is known as the trance of the pure. They are unable to move or to speak in a traditional sense, though they can appear in visions and dreams. They instead can provide power or energy to the world in a usable form. Many clerics worship conduits, and many magic users have conduits as their patrons, allowing them the ability to draw from the Crux if they were previously unable to.
Conduits do not always appear the same, though all accounts suggest they remain in the same spot for their entire existence. Some have withered to bone, fossilized into stone monuments of themselves, or have remained young and fleshed for many thousands of years. Sometimes the spark of a conduit lives on inside of their burnt out husk. There are those who believe it is possible to reignite and resuscitate the conduit, they dedicate their lives to discovering the process.
Some people don’t worship a conduit, but instead worship the Plane itself, claiming it is a sentient being, the one true god. They typically organize into cults. Their participants are those that could draw from the Plane with no aid from a conduit.
The Underlands (all underground sections of Emon), are a shifting and magical place. It is impossible to find your way through the passages and pathways without a special type of magic called guidance. Those with guidance make a good living off of guiding people from place to place. As stated before the Underlands are seemingly infinite. It is impossible to know how far any landmark is from another, guides only know how long it takes to travel from one place to another.
The surface of Emon is home to many people who make a living off of providing goods and services that could not be produced underground. Certain foods and building materials can only be found on the surface. The surface is only 3 continents separated by thin channel like oceans, while the other side of the world is a massive sea that is turbulent with constantly churning storms. No one has sailed there and returned.
Hello, everyone. I have been hard at work on lots of art recently, and so I’m going to present it here. First I’d like to say that I have been working on commissions, some I’m not at liberty to disclose just yet. So that’s some of my art time dedicated to those. As for other projects, they are as follows.
For those of you who have been keeping up with my work for a while, especially my live streams, y’all know that I’ve been working on a VERY large battle illustration. It’s an ongoing project of about 6 years so far, and I don’t really see it getting done anytime soon. My plan was to make it match a previous piece of mine, but illustrated digitally instead of traditionally. To replicate that I needed to have a border done in a gothic architectural style. My original approach was a very loose graphical interpretation (you can see the pieces here: Obsequies Of the Prophet ) but with the shift to digital I decided to go the vector route, which gives me the opportunity to be much more realistic, or representative in my approach. To that end I’d started making samples of gothic architectural vector brushes and brick patterns that I could use. I’ve practiced on this a lot, and have a lot of really good work. To continue to practice, and also add breadth to the series (or to go a different route with the same technique), I’ve begun several other pieces.
These practice works are giving me a lot of really good ideas about how to scale, alternate, and make genuinely engaging architectural decoration. Most of the brushes are easily reproducible too. Not sure if people would be interested in them, but I could probably sell them, or post them for patrons. Be sure to let me know if that’s something you’d be interested in, and I’ll look into making it happen! The works are also good practice for making coloring books. Again, scale, line weight, and other such concerns. It’s been a lot of fun, I’m not going to lie to you. I really think there’s some definite potential, even for new pieces. I won’t get into that right now, because it’s a little bit abstract still in my head, and I have a lot of thinking to do on it. But I’ll update on that eventually.
Anyway, here’s a sample of what I think a coloring book page could look like. This is a Work in Progress so it’s not even remotely complete (obviously), but it’s felt good to get back into illustrator prepping a vector like this. Makes me feel like I know what I’m doing haha. I think there’s also potential for postcards, zines, activity books, and just general art, not even mass-producible stuff.
Now, I know that lead in mentioned the battle scene, but I haven’t really posted an update for it in a while. So here’s a quick glimpse of the process. It is taking a very long time as I said before. I could see it taking me 10 years total, even if I spent most of my time on it. Of course there’s no funding for that, so I won’t. The long and short of it is that I have no idea how long this will take me. But judging by my roughly 10% completion estimate, it might take me 60. You can’t see me but I’m shrugging and also crying while I say that. If you’d like to watch me work on it you can toon into my live streams on twitch! Be sure to check into social media and also my discord if you’re interested in receiving updates, that’s the quickest way to get them! I’m trying to get back up to 2 to 3 streams a week. But it’s tough to find the time. Speaking of discord I also sometimes stream in a chat room there if you’re interested more with interacting with me.
I’m sure some of you have seen my horror shorts on TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter. I’m still making those, and having an absolute blast doing it. I’m not uploading them to the website at this point, however, you’ll have to check in on social media to see it. The process goes from painting a creepy image, recording some sort of creepy dubbing track. Then I drop it all into after effects, put some…well effects on them, and then render it out! It’s a really rewarding process, and since I’m not animating a lot of motion it’s been a pretty accessible process. Like I said, I haven’t begun uploading them here, or really thought about the world building aspects, but I’m sure I’ll think of something at some point. Stay tuned for that!
That’s it! Well that’s all I’m sharing at this point. I’ll be back next month with another blog update. Next Friday will be a HFTS mega update! Make sure to check back here then and you’ll get to read all about my world-building project. In the meantime, there’s a new chapter up for AWSS as well. Go read it, it’s really good if I do say so myself (and I do) Look at that, me being confident, how nice. Alright, folks. I hope y’all have a good weekend and don’t forget to check back in next week! Bye!
Hey guys! Thought I’d do a quick post to update y’all on the website. I’ve begun scanning and formatting old images and posting them. There’s a “Pen and Ink” section under “Galleries” that has some of those images now, and at a later date I will probably add at least one more category. In the mean time I’ll update everyone at the regularly scheduled Blog dates as to any site updates or shop updates.
Which brings me to my second note…drum roll please…the shop is open again! I still have shirts, prints, and a few stickers left! There are also 35 new originals for sale. You can check that out at the link on the side. Most of them are from 2015 when I completed Inktober, but I will be scanning, formatting, and cropping more of them to put up for sale in the future.
One more small note, I am in the works of designing some shirts and getting quotes on them so I can offer some more merch in the future. You can see a few of them in the previous blog post. I will most likely be doing a poll on my patreon to decide what shirts we want to get done, so if you’re interested in voting on that be sure to subscribe. I will make another announcement when the poll goes live, so you can feel free to wait until then to join.
I said one more, but this is actually the last one: I’m still working on my email newsletter. With everything going on it’s a little tough to keep it all sorted. I think that I’m getting the hang of it though. Anyway, be on the lookout for that!
I hope you all have a wonderful week!
I’ve decided it may be worth while to have a blog going on my site. So here’s an introduction!
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